Amanda-Louise Funeral Directors based in Minehead, Somerset.

Funeral dress code for mourners

Black or navy tends to be the traditional option. Years ago, it wasn’t appropriate to wear flip flops or open toed sandals and men wore black ties and a suit. Nowadays, there aren’t any rules about what to wear or what not to wear. Each family may want to consider what's right for them, whether formal, smart casual or casual. Equally colour choices do not have to be black; it can be bright and colourful from whole outfit to a tie or scarf, or to wear a colourful flower buttonhole.

Read our blog what to wear to a funeral in 2023

Funeral dress code for funeral directors

We can be addressed in formal funeral director attire, or if you prefer, we can wear less formal clothing such as dress in a variety of colours.

There is no right or wrong way these days, however there are still some etiquettes to be considered about respectfulness. When driving, it is always considerate not to overtake a hearse conveying a coffin as a mark of respect.

Look to the family arranging the family for their guide on their expectations.

Some people like to bring flowers as a mark of respect, others give money to a chosen charity; others opt to attend to pay their respects and of course it's perfectly okay not to attend if you cannot face it.

People who do attend often bring with them

• Tissues
• Sympathy card for the family
• Umbrella or sunglasses depending on weather

Things to ask if you have been invited to attend a funeral

• Do they want flowers, or donation to charity
• What is the dress code
• Time and venue location
• Is there a wake or celebration afterwards, and are you invited
• Do you need to bring anything to the wake or celebration of life ie plate of food
• Should you take the children with you?

DOCUMENTS REQUIRED TO OBTAIN AN MMO SEA BURIAL LICENCE

We will require you to forward to us the following scanned copy certificates: (originals to be held by you and made available on the day of the burial at sea for MMO inspection)  

• The Death Certificate  
• Freedom from Fever and Infection Certificate  
• Coroners Out of England Certificate (Form 103)

Scattering Ashes at Sea on a River or a Lake.

Scattering ashes at sea, on a river or lake is great way to give a loved one a really nice send-off and research suggests that those who scatter in this way find the presence of water, after that, very comforting.

Scattering Ashes in the SEA - the Law

If you choose the sea then you should aware that for the UK you do not need a licence to spread ashes in tidal coastal water. In coastal waters you will need to comply with Environment Agency Guidance.

Scattering Ashes on a RIVER or LAKE

If you choose a river you should be aware that the English Environment Agency say ‘It is acceptable’ with some provisos (download this leaflet – Scattering Ashes on rivers). Basically you need to look out for others and don’t put anything in the river that will not degrade eg plastics.

Where to scatter

You can choose to scatter the ashes from a boat or the shoreline / riverbank. The choice is yours and each has it advantages:

From a boat: if you have access to a boat you can do it yourself .  If not, we can help, we work with a number of boat companies that operate across the UK and Ireland. Here is a map of them - Boats on a Map

Advantages of a boat:  the main advantage is that it is totally private; you can reach more inaccessible places; it is easier to put the ashes into the water; and it is likely to feel more of an occasion.

From the waters edge: on a beach, a bridge or the riverbank– all make good venues, but be mindful of others and tide times, it is best to scatter the ashes below the tide line: tide times

Advantages of a shore line: no additional cost, no restrictions on numbers; you choose your own timings and duration, no chance of seasickness!

If you want us too, yes we can take care of every part of the process for you. We will discuss with you what you would like in terms of service, flowers, coffins, transport, obituaries, donations for example. You can trust our caring and professionalism to ensure it is delivered as you wish.

We believe it's important not to rush into making decisions, that way the funeral service can be individual and reflect the person. We will discuss options with you including who you would want to conduct a funeral service, whether anyone wants to provide a eulogy or tribute along with music and visual tributes.

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Yes of course.

Once a doctor has certified the death call our funeral service, and we wil take your loved one into our care. You will need to complete the necessary legal paperwork so the funeral can go ahead, and we help you with this. Your loved one is then taken into our facilities where they are treated with dignity. Depending upon wishes, we can change their clothes and prepare them into a coffin that you have chosen.

Yes of course but we do have to charge an additional rate for this service.

It's typically about the shape. A coffin is wider at the shoulders and is thinner at the feet end, and can be made in a variety of materials from wood, wood products ie veneer, cardboard, wool, wicker, bamboo, for example.

A casket is rectangular shape, is often heavier and more expensive than a coffin and commonly made from metal or wood. They tend to be more lavish including the liners and handles too.

You can get a casket to hold cremated remains, which is not the same as a casket that holds a body.  

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Yes many people opt to have a direct funeral, and then organise to have a remembrance event on a different day and venue.

Yes of course, we welcome those who wish to be involved as much as possible. Many family members find this comforting.

Yes of course. If you want to get the rewards from the corporate funeral plan, then you would simply need to ‘cash it in’ and get the monies, then this can pay for an independent funeral director.

We offer to make a list of all attendees and give to the family, which we’re told is helpful for the family to go through and send a card of thanks for attending

No, but it’s a good idea to discuss with the funeral director if there are going to be a large number for logistics.

Yes of course, and the choice is up to you reflecting your loved one. We have supported families from religious, classical, rock and roll or pop.  We have created some popular choices on our Youtube Channel to give you some inspiration

Yes of course. You don’t need to have a professional ceremony leader, and even if you do have one, sometimes a family or friend stands up to read their written eulogy. We have had military personnel get up too to share words in honour.

A Celebrant can incorporate any religions or none at all into a funeral ceremony, whereas a Humanist will only perform non-religious ceremonies.

We work with many talented ceremony leaders, including ministers, so please do talk to us if you do not have someone in mind.

Yes, she can. She’s a qualified celebrant and has been a public speaker for over 30 years. She can deliver a ceremony that’s heartfelt retelling your stories, incorporating any religion or none, upholding tradition or will devise new ones too so that is personal and meaningful for you.  As Amanda-Louise has limited availability to do this important task, please speak to her in person and offers this as complimentary as part of her role as Funeral Director.

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You need to consider this before deciding. The death must be formally registered first. Talk to us about your chosen venue, or if you need help in choosing one (there are so many options available to you) and for all bespoke funerals, we work together in booking a date that’s right for family and friends to travel.

Usually a funeral takes place depending on factors for example:

• The religion, and wishes, of the person who has died
• Whether the death has to be reported to the coroner
• The availability of venues and crematoria

As a typical guide many funerals can take within 2 weeks after the person has died, or has been brought into our care.

We can talk to you about venues and how many people they can comfortably hold. We recommend that one member of the family and friends takes the role of inviting people to the funeral, and making a note of who is going to attend to give you an idea on numbers. You could telephone, text, email or write to them; or some pop the message onto social media platforms, otherwise there is the traditional way of placing a death notice in the newspaper, or we at Amanda-Louise Funeral Services have an online notice of funerals offered to our bespoke funerals. However, you do it, don’t forget to tell them the place, date, and time.

As to who to invite, this is a personal choice. Some families give an open invitation, while others only want close family. There is no right or wrong way.

Nowadays not everyone invites everyone back to their home or to an organised funeral reception. But if you want to, let them know when you invite them, or the ceremony leader can remind the attendees during the service, and it can also be placed in an Order of Service that you wish to have printed. We can help you with this.

Yes, its common for a funeral to take place within 2 weeks but its okay to delay it. Sometimes this happens around 2-4 weeks for family arrangements and we are happy to do this. As we are transparent with our fees, you only pay for what you need.

The death of a loved one can be overwhelming for family and friends, and can put more stress on families who may already have conflict. We are here to help you limit stress and to have a funeral day that can go as peacefully and smoothly as possible. Talk to us in confidence – we are here to support you, and very good at rapport with everyone often defusing the most volatile situations.

Yes. You can choose during the arrangement for family and friends to carry the coffin, but even if you decide at the last minute that some people want to help carry the coffin, this wont present a problem (but we will still need to charge if they are in attendance). You can select anything from 1-6 bearers not but more than 5. We’ll instruct the bearers carefully on the procedure for carrying the coffin and then remain in close attendance while the coffin is being carried in. 

Repatriation means transporting the person who has died to another country so that their funeral can take place there. At Amanda-Louise Funeral Services we will help you with everything involved in the funeral arrangement and processes. 

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This is a process that we can do for you. We’ve designed a number of service sheets ranging from traditional to modern in style. They can include photos of your loved one, the structure of the funeral service including any poems or readings, and details of any funeral reception or charitable donation details. There is no right or wrong to the format, talk to us.

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No. During a cremation the coffin is always burned. At a burial, the coffin is lowered into the ground. Out of respect for the deceased and family a coffin would never be reused under any circumstances.

No that’s not their role. We can help you find someone that is suitable for you, unless you have someone else in mind.

That’s up to you. You can be cremated with or without clothing. The majority of direct cremations, the deceased is cremated in whatever clothing they are wearing when they died, however for more traditional support the funeral director can help the family redress the person who has died into something chosen by the family.

Yes, the deceased is always cremated in the coffin or a shroud (if desired). All UK crematories have to follow a very strict code of practice. Once the funeral director has sealed the coffin, no one opens it again.  Sometimes you may see a coffin flag or drape over a coffin, and as these can be recycled they are often removed prior to the cremation at the request of the family.

Yes, the UK law states that a body must be covered up when in public. As coffins are a legal requirement for cremations, a shroud can be used.  There are of course a variety of materials for coffins these days, from wood, to wood products, to wicker and cardboard too.

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Doctor’s fees are only charged for a cremation, this is because there cant be any investigation after a cremation should there ever need a reason to – for this reason the government says the deceased’s doctor must view the deceased and certify that the cause of death is as specified and that there isn’t anything suspicious about the circumstances.  Prior to covid-19 two doctor’s certificates were required, now its one – this means the cost has reduced from around £164 to £82.

At every stage there is an audit process to ensure compliance. The person who has died will be identified from when they have died right through to after the cremation. Their details are written down and is checked at every stage. The coffin has to have either a name plate or card to identify the person, and once the funeral director closes and seals the lid on the coffin, it is not opened again.  During the cremation, only one coffin is in the cremator at a time; again, everyone is checking that the body and coffin match with the records.

This will vary. Prosthetics will depend, for example pacemakers and internal defibrillators will need to be removed before cremation, as they will explode.  Many implants such as silicone breast implants will likely remain with the deceased and will form part of the cremated ashes. Whereas metal implants do not burn, and these are separated after the body has been burned.

Yes they are. The chamber only allows for one body at a time, which allows to check the right person is being cremated at the right time, plus the law states this.

Many crematoria’s will allow one or two family members to be present but this will need to be arranged prior to the cremation to accommodate this. There may be an additional fee for this. If you are worried about the process, then talk to Amanda-Louise who will answer all your questions honestly.

This term is also known as remembrance or memorial jewellery and is jewellery that has incorporated a small amount of the cremated ashes. Popular items such as rings, bracelets and necklaces but there are a variety of other items such as coloured glass ornaments too.

You can either leave the flowers at the crematoria or the grave side. Most crematories will have a place for mourners to leave the flowers and visit to view them for a couple of days before they dispose of them. Or you can choose to have all or some of the flowers taken home to recycle and put into vase, or take them to the funeral reception.

For cemetery sites, once the earth has been placed on top of the coffin, the flowers are placed on top.

That a personal choice. Many people choose to purchase an urn to store the ashes in, or commission some of the ashes into jewellery or art for example. Some people decide to buy a scattering tube, and when the time is right for them, they scatter the ashes in a favourite place.

A direct cremation is a cremation with no service or mourners in attendance. Here at Amanda-Louise Funeral Services our ethical approach means we prefer to use local crematoria’s, we still drive to the chapel in a funeral suitable vehicle and take the coffin into the chapel with full honours. As a direct funeral is seen as a no frills no fuss approach, then the deceased is placed into their coffin in clothing they have arrived in and there’s no facility for viewing. The family do not choose the date/time and location of the cremation. Availability at crematoriums is limited for this type of funeral, so the time afforded to us is only 15 minutes maximum. Its usual practice not to inform the family of the details, as we need to obey rules of direct funeral of no attendees.  If this is not the option that’s right for you, then we offer a full and flexible funeral service.

Typically, cremations are less expensive than a burial, but there isn’t much in it these days.

For burials, the cost will depend on whether it’s a new plot needed to be purchased, or an existing one that needs to have a stone removed in preparation, plus there is the burial cost on top.  Having said that, cremation prices do vary with each crematoria provider, whether you want a funeral ceremony and for how long. Please do talk to us about your individual requirements as we always supply a quotation.

Generally, the grave will need to settle in order for it to support the weight of a headstone. This could take between six to twelve months.

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No, it only applies for a cremation

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Yes, if you want to. Families have placed small personal objects into the coffin with the deceased before cremation; these items will be cremated too. We’ve supported families to place photos, teddy bears and pictures drawn by children as a gesture of goodbye and comfort.  There are some items that are not suitable such as glass, large metal items with a cremation. Do remember to remove any items of jewellery if you do not wish these to be cremated too.

For burials then there is typically less restrictions as to what can be placed inside the coffin. However with a natural burial then only biodegradable items can be included

The Births and Deaths Registration Act 1953 states that you do not have to have a funeral (ie with people attending a service followed by the actual cremation or burial), but it does stipulate that when someone dies, their body must be disposed of by burial, cremation or by other means.

Sometimes people say, “When I die I don't want a funeral. I just want my body taken to the crematorium and cremated without any fuss. I don't want any sort of ceremony and I don’t want anyone else there.” This is often called ‘Direct Cremation’ (Direct Burial is also possible).

For some surviving family and friends, this can seem too remote not having a chance to say goodbye, or honour the life. Its known that a funeral service does help the family and friends come to terms with their loss and support them in their journey of grief, if the funeral is meaningful.  So if a direct cremation is arranged, often families hold a separate memorial service, or sometimes known as a celebration of life.

IF THE PERSON HAS DIED AT HOME

We usually receive a telephone call direct from the next of kin, where our highly experienced team is available during office hours every day to attend wherever and whenever a death occurs, although we can do this 24 hours a day.

Upon receipt of a call our private ambulance is dispatched and we will let you know when we will arrive. When we arrive, we will sensitively introduce ourselves and able to help with any initial questions you may have at this distressing time and will then convey the deceased with dignity to our funeral facilities (mortuary) - we will ask you to sign our short form giving us authorisation and leave you with our details. We will put our disposable gloves, ensure the person is appropriately covered and move them onto our trolley, which we use to convey into our vehicle. Depending on the person's size, height and location will depend on how many of us will be involved. (We will have asked for details in advance so we are prepared as we can be)

Before the removal can take place we must ascertain that the person's doctor - or the doctor on call - has given permission for the body to be moved. They will have completed a form verifying the death - nb the date and time that the verification takes place/recorded is the date and time you will need to use when you apply for the Death Certificate (this may be different from date/time that the person actually died)

If the death has been reported to the Coroner, the deceased must be taken to the public mortuary at the hospital. This must be carried out by the funeral directors who are contracted for this purpose by the Coroner - we are not allowed to attend. However, you are still completely free to choose our Company for the funeral arrangements themselves. We would then collect the person from that funeral director.

IF THE PERSON HAS DIED IN HOSPITAL OR A NURSING HOME

Similar to above, we receive a telephone call from the next of kin notifying of the death instructing us to be the chosen funeral directors (unless the nursing home's records already show we are the funeral directors and they can call us).

They will have already organised for the death to be verified by a doctor before we come out.

We understand in trying to come to terms with a death many people attach great importance to visiting the funeral director's Chapel of Rest to 'view the body'. Other people may not wish to do this. As in all other aspects of the funeral arrangements we would stress it is your choice whether or not to visit the Chapel of Rest. We will be pleased, however, to discuss this subject with you so that you have the necessary information to come to the right decision.

Our Chapel of Rest is provided so that you may visit your loved one during office hours, but we can make arrangements during other times or night.

Your loved one will be in our refrigerated mortuary facilities designed to enable the deceased has dignity in rest.

On visiting the Chapel of Rest the family will be invited to a private room where their loved one is laid (we will have with care moved them a short distance in our facilities from one room to another).  We will have discussed with the family for the deceased to be placed in the coffin at this time. (the coffin lid can be open, with a viole placed over them)

Clients telephone us to arrange a suitable appointment to do this - there may be a charge for this service, particularly if outside office hours or frequent visits, depending on the choice of package you opt for.

We believe it is important that, throughout their time in our care, you know where your loved one is.  With us, your loved one will remain at our mortuary facility in Taunton. If there is ever a requirement for a person to be temporarily held elsewhere (for instance, for certification of death by the local doctor) we will always keep you informed.

Once we have conveyed the person who has died into our care, we will place them in our mortuary facilities.

Depending on the wishes, we can do as little or more amount of preparation to the body; always ensuring their dignity is paramount. Being compassionate, we are commonly talking to the deceased.

If a simple direct cremation has been requested, then the person is placed into a coffin in the clothes we collected them in (this is typical of a pure direct cremation), however like all our services, we can dress the person in any particular clothing or even provide a funeral gown.

If you wished to carry out the washing, applying makeup, brushing hair (for example) and dressing of your loved one yourself, this is always possible.  We would be happy to provide any help you may need.  It is also always an option to keep your loved one at home until the funeral; again we offer to give practical advice.

If a family wants to come to visit their loved one whilst in our care, we can discuss with them at the arrangements interview whether embalming or any other restorative procedures should be carried out.  It is often not necessary to carry out embalming but it does make sense in some circumstances.  We promise we will only carry out embalming if it is desirable or legally required (i.e for international transportation) and if you have agreed to it.  The problem with the word embalming is that it conjures up images of ancient Egyptians and mysterious practices. Modern embalming has no connection with any of this; it is a scientific process in many ways similar to a blood transfusion. Its purposes are to arrest any physical change between death and the funeral, to create a sanitary condition, and to restore a normal appearance.  In this way a family can visit the Chapel of Rest with confidence, knowing that the last visual memory they keep of their loved one will be of help to them in coming to terms with their bereavement. This part of the funeral director’s work is not something that everyone finds easy to talk about or even contemplate but we can explain things with sensitivity in as much or as little detail as you need so that you can make an informed choice. If embalming is requested, we will instruct a professional embalmer to carry out this task. On the other hand, embalming is not typically necessary and changes to a body is a nature process, so we talk sensitively to family about what to expect. Alternatively if family want to spend time with the person whilst in our care, we can close the lid of the coffin so they do not actually see the body, but are able to spend time with them quietly or we will play some gentle music in our peaceful facilities.

For members of the local Islamic community we will organise a room where Ghusl Mayyit (ritual washing of the deceased) can be carried out by family and friends.

The deceased will remain in our mortuary until the day of their funeral (cremation or burial). Before their funeral we will arrange any interior accessories you want ie liner, mattress, pillow before placing them into their coffin. If you do not wish for the deceased to be buried or cremated with any jewellery they are currently wearing, we will remove these (if we can) and give them to you - alternatively if there is anything you wish to be placed with the deceased then we will be happy to support you with this. Just before their funeral we will seal the lid.

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We are frequently asked to produce personally designed and printed orders of service for funerals and memorial services, each one custom made.  They provide a running order for the congregation to follow and usually include the wording of any hymns or poems. They also make a lovely memento of the occasion for those who attend and can be sent as a gift to anyone unable to be there on the day. They can include photos, information about funeral reception and charity donations details.

We are very experienced in the design of these leaflets. We either use a local printers, or we can print them in-house.

Prices depend on the number of booklets to be printed, the number of pages in the booklet and whether they are to be in mono or colour. We can provide a quote on request.

We can also supply other printed material like intimation cards (which you send out to advise people of a death and of the funeral arrangements) and prayer cards.

At Amanda-Louise Funeral Directors, we can be as supportive as you need us to be. For example:-

Collection and delivery of certificates from and to doctors, hospitals, the coroner's office  or the Register Office, completion and checking of forms and certificates and their delivery to the Crematorium or Cemetery Authorities.

The information compiled from the arrangements meeting needs to be disseminated to our team so that various tasks  are carried out efficiently: collection of the deceased, preparation of the coffin, preparation of the deceased, and the logistics of managing our staff and fleet of funeral vehicles throughout the week.

Letters or emails confirming the funeral arrangements will be sent to the officiating clergy or funeral officiant.

We may prepare an online announcements dedicated page.

If you have asked us to handle newspaper announcements for you they will be composed to your requirements, checked for accuracy, sent to the relevant papers and checked for their accurate reception.  The cost of the newspaper announcement is added to the funeral account.  The amount the newspaper bills us is the amount you pay; we do not add anything on.

Similarly, if you have asked us to order flowers for you, the cost can be added to the funeral account. If you do not wish to use our in-house florist services, then we will liaise with yours to receive the flowers in readiness.

We will create a tribute page on our website in memory of the deceased person, which enables family and friends to see funeral details and who to donate to if any charity or charities have been chosen.

On the day of the funeral there is considerable preparation 'behind the scenes' before we leave, including preparation of the vehicles, closing the coffin, receiving and recording of floral tributes received at our premises and placement of floral tributes on the coffin and in the hearse. As well as supervising these activities, Amanda-Louise will also be carrying out a final study of the arrangements to ensure all is in place. She will also be calculating timings (of vehicle arrival at the house etc.) with care. With a funeral, preparation is everything.

At the Crematorium or Cemetery, Amanda-Louise as your chosen Funeral Director, will manage and co-ordinate things so that you may concentrate on the ceremony itself. She will ensure that the procession is carried out as discussed, and any music or visual tributes are seamless.

Our competent and experienced pallbearers will convey the coffin with dignity to its final resting-place. Their responsibilities also include arranging the display of floral tributes after the service and being on hand to provide assistance or advice to anyone attending.

After the funeral we will be pleased to present you with the cards from the flowers to keep as a memento and to distribute the flowers to a location of your choice. We can supply attendees with our attendance cards for their completion, and hand these to the next of kin, so they know who attended should they wish to send an acknowledgement.

This is the meeting between you and Amanda-Louise Funeral Director to discuss the funeral arrangements. This will usually be at our funeral office or in your own home. It can take place via online zoom. The meeting usually lasts about one hour.

In conversation with you we will talk about the type of funeral service that is right for your loved one and if they had any wishes. Amanda-Louise will give you as much information as you want to make your own decisions, or she will guide you if you need support. She will be sensitive, empathetic and listen to you. She also knows that there isnt a one size fits all funeral, so she will be flexible to offer all the support and organisation as you require.

You will talk about dates (once paperwork is in hand, Amanda-Louise will liaise with crematorium or cemetery, minister/ceremony leader, any churchwardens and gravedigger (for burials) for example before booking a firm funeral date.)

Once a decision has been made whether cremation, burial or natural burial (and all the choices involved in each category) you will discuss if you want a funeral service, where that will be held and when, who will be that ceremony leader (ie religious minister, celebrant, humanist, family member or Amanda-Louise herself) including any music (pre-recorded or live musicians), special readings or poems, visual tributes (photos on a slideshow for example), if you wish the service to be webcast so other chosen family or friends can watch it live or recorded, eulogy and any special elements to the service. A discussion will take place about the funeral procession into the chapel (how the coffin will be conveyed, if family and friends will already be waiting in the chapel as coffin enters, or walking behind the coffin) and options about closing of curtains (if cremation).

There will be discussion of your requirements for transport on the day, and all matters relating to floral tributes and/or charitable donations.

We will provide you with help and advice regarding the registration of the death, including your legal responsibilities in this regard.

We are happy to advise on wording for newspaper announcements and will be able to place the announcement in the newspaper of your choice.

Your wishes regarding visiting the Chapel of Rest will be discussed, as will the type of coffin to be provided.

If the funeral is to be a cremation, we will discuss with you the options for dispersal of cremation ashes.

The Crematorium or Cemetery will require your signature on various forms and we will assist to make this task as quick and as simple as possible. If you havent already signed our authorisation form, you will be asked to do so during this meeting.

We will discuss costs and if there is a funeral payment plan in existence. For those who need financial assistance, Amanda-Louise will advise on grant funding which maybe available. The interview would include our detailed advice on the cost of the funeral with the production of an itemised estimate and a confirmation of the arrangements in writing, including our terms and conditions.

We conclude with a review of the choices you have made, a reminder of any information/decisions still needed and an outline of what will happen on the day.

Sometimes it becomes apparent that an additional meeting is needed, which we are happy to arrange at your convenience.